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  • Writer's pictureacoachsdiary

What Do You Want to Get Out of The Process? (Step 1)

Updated: Dec 9, 2022

First, watch the video below for an insight into the type of parents and parental support that NBA legend Kobe Bryant grew up with:

In the video, Kobe Bryant was asked, "Who was your greatest teacher growing up?"

He said his parents were great. They instilled in him the importance of imagination and curiosity with the understanding that if you want to accomplish something, you have to put in the work to get there.

Kobe grew up thinking the world was his oyster and all things were possible if he was willing to put in the work.

He was then asked, "Who was more influential for you, your mother or your father." Kobe said, "Both were influential at different points. My mom was there on a daily basis. My father was really influential at a critical time."

Kobe then told a story about how when he was 10 or 11 years old, he played in a summer league where he went the entire summer without scoring a single point. The league was a very prominent summer league in Philadelphia called the Sonny Hill League. His father, his uncle, and NBA legends like Wilt Chamberlain and Earl the Pearl Monroe played in this league, and Kobe embarrassingly went the entire summer without scoring at all. Something to think about - If your athlete went an entire season without scoring, how would you feel and how would you respond? Kobe said he was terrible and still growing into his body, and said that he remembered crying about not scoring. Kobe's father then gave him a hug and told him, "Listen, whether you score 0 or score 60, I'm going to love you no matter what."

Kobe said, "That is the most important thing that you can say to a child because it gave me all the confidence to fail - I have the security there."

This had me thinking about a question I heard Brett Ledbetter, a consultant, author, and speaker who works with some of the best coaches and athletes in the world ask: "Who do you want your athlete to become as a result of the chase?" At the end of most games, athletes are asked 2 questions: 1 - Did you win? 2 - How many points/goals/touchdowns/runs did you score? We condition our athletes at an early age to believe that results matter more than anything. But take some time to really think about who you want your young athlete to be, who you want them to become, and what you want them to get out of the athletic experience. When they are retired from whatever sport they play, whether that happens after playing in high school, college, or professionally, who do you want them to be as a result of the journey and the chase? Then, think about what your role is in that process. To set a benchmark, think about what you want your athlete to get out of the next 6 months to a year. What kind of performance skills do you hope they develop, and more importantly, what kind of moral skills do you hope they develop? Then think about your role in the development of those skills. With every interaction we have with our athletes, we are communicating to them what we value and what feel is important, and much of that communication (verbal and non-verbal) becomes their inner voice. Because of his parents, Kobe's inner voice said, "The world is your oyster, and all things are possible if you put in the work." REFLECTION QUESTIONS:

1 - What do you want your athlete to get out of the athletic experience? 3 - What skills - performance and moral - do you hope your athlete develops over the next 6 months to a year? 4 - What is your role in the process?

To help you get started, ask yourself, "Who do you want your athletes to become as a result of the chase: - More or less confident - Happier or less happy - More stable or more fragile - Stronger or weaker character - More humble or bigger ego - More or less respectful - More or less grateful - More or less emotionally resilient - More open or more defensive - More or less ethical For a Google doc version, click here: Who Do You Want Them to Become

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