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  • Writer's pictureacoachsdiary

Intro - When and Where to Be Emotional

Leading Question: Do you/should you yell at your athletes? Do you/should you yell at your teammates?

Key Takeaway

Emotional Intelligence is our ability to manage the energy in the room. It is our ability to escalate or de-escalate ourselves and others with care and compassion.


While watching a high-level, high school girls' basketball game with a group of parents, the coach called a timeout and ripped into his girls pretty good. He yelled, he pointed his finger at them, and he demanded more out of them. And our parents loved it. They loved his passion.


Is it okay to yell at athletes?


In the introduction of his book Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman shares Aristotle’s challenge: to manage our emotional life with intelligence.


Aristotle once said (or wrote), “Anyone can become angry - that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not easy.


Emotional intelligence is our ability to escalate and de-escalate ourselves and others with care and compassion.


We live in a world where people seem to be more easily angered and escalated than ever before, but we also live in a world where people seem less motivated and inspired.


Having emotional intelligence might be the most important skill you can master if you work with people.


Being able to escalate and raise your emotions to motivate, inspire, and encourage the people you teach, coach, and lead is a valuable skill that can lead to winning and sustainable success. What does that look like for you?


Being able to de-escalate and lower your emotions or the emotions of those around you is also important. We can’t make rational decisions when we are too emotional. What does that look like for you?


Over the next few weeks, I hope to continue to blog about Daniel Goleman’s book, Emotional Intelligence so we can all learn and grow in our ability to effectively escalate and deescalate ourselves and those around us with care and compassion and in a way that solves problems and drives performance.


INTRODUCTION REFLECTION QUESTIONS


1 - On a scale of 1-5, how well do you feel you can manage your emotions?

2 - On a scale of 1-5, how compassionate are you with yourself?

3 - On a scale of 1-5, how well do you feel like you can manage the emotions of those around you?

4 - On a scale of 1-5, how compassionate are you with those around you?

5 - What is one way in which you can better manage your emotions and have more compassion for yourself?

6 - How can you better manage the emotions of those around you and have more compassion for others?

7 - Is it okay to yell at your athletes?

Much of this information was taken from the introduction of Daniel Goleman’s book, Emotional Intelligence. You can find more about the book here: Emotional Intelligence



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